Valuable Suggestions for Nurturing FaithLife in the Home

Four Keys for Nurturing FaithLife in the Home:  Use the Four Keys and resources in the Resource Guide to nurture the faith, values, and character formation of children, youth, and adults.

1.  Caring Conversation - Christian values and faith are passed on to the next generation through supportive conversation.  Listening and responding to the daily concerns of our children makes it easier to have meaningful conversations regarding the love of God and is itself a way to express God's love to others.

2.  Family Devotions - To pass on the Christian faith to children and youth, adults need to learn the Christian message and biblical story as their own story.  Christianity shapes the whole of one's life and therefore involves a lifetime of Christian study, reflection, and prayer.

3.  Family Service - Children, youth, and adults are more likely to be influenced by those who "walk the talk."  The Christian talk is expressed in the Good Samaritan story, the care of others, and especially the care of those in need.  Service projects are best done with family members and other intergenerational groups.

4. Family Rituals and Traditions - Daily routines, celebrations, and other ways families choose to identify who they are and tell their family stories, speak volumes about what the family values, believes, and promotes.

BIRTH - AGE 2

Recent research in brain development makes it clear that the first years of life are critical moments for intellectual, emotional, and relational growth.  Infants are greatly affected by sights, sounds, and touch - every experience that is present in their immediate environment.  The advertising industry knows this well enough to make it a goal to create product loyalty by age three.

It is never too soon to tell children about God.  Instead of memorizing commercial tunes and product logos, our children could sing songs of love, joy, and faith, and learn to fold their hands before every meal.

There is no such thing as letting the child grow up to decide for her/himself.  From the beginning of life we are surrounded by choices in values and beliefs.  Which ones will we help children make?

THINGS TO DO - 

• Read to children at your earliest opportunity and embrace infants and toddlers with gentle touch and a soft voice.
• Include them in worship at home and in the congregations; speak and sing of love, security, warmth, Jesus, God, family, friends, and church.
• Let their trusting hearts lead you on your own journey of faith.
  

AGES 3 - 5

The world of 3 to 5 year-olds is growing quickly.  This is an important time for language development.  Have children tell about their experiences and feelings.

Let their play, imagination, and exploration be filled with positive images of God's loving presence in their lives through the words and actions of attentive. loving adults.

Children are becoming more aware of and interested in outside sources of interaction - friends, televisions, and so forth.  They see and understand more than we realize.  These important years can give children self-image that says, "I belong here," and "I can do it!"

Have children participate in services to others - both inside and beyond the home.  Read to them 15 to 30 minutes a day.  Stimulate their senses with well-supervised play and other experiences at home, church, and in the neighborhood and larger community.  Model and teach peaceful ways to resolve conflict.  Express confidence about the future.

THINGS TO DO - 

• Ask an adult outside the home to become personally invested in your child's growth and well-being.
• Stimulate intellectual, physical, and spiritual growth through play, reading, praying, singing, and laughter.
• Make God part of your daily conversations with your child - it is natural to them and can be for you too.
  

PRIMARY GRADES

Children develop personal friendships at this age.  They sense the needs of others and balance self-interest with fairness and sharing.

This is also a time when children develop personal competencies and a general sense that they can accomplish tasks by themselves.  They seek new information and begin to reason how things relate to each other in cause and effect sequences.  (Some still have difficulty with cause and effect thinking.)  Expanded cognitive skills help them follow and remember longer stories.

Physical skills improve considerably, and a greater sense of independence and ability is a hallmark of this time of life.

THINGS TO DO - 

• Celebrate the unique qualities, abilities, and personality that emerge in each child.
• Help your child see that the biblical story is part of his/her story, and that biblical characters are part of their family lineage.
• Encourage each child to see her/himself as a part of a larger community through service to others and through the personal support and interest of two or three other caring adults.
• Brainstorm things children can do for others and help them do them.
  

INTERMEDIATE GRADES

These children are on the threshold of adolescence.  This is a time they especially need consistent input from significant adults.

Their lives and faith are greatly influenced by the expectations of others.  Physical sexual development and a new-found interest in the opposite sex may begin to emerge.  Children vacillate between the need for dependence and independence.

Social relationships are marked by moodiness on the one hand and improved relational and verbal skills on the other.  They are beginning to reason and question on a more abstract level.

THINGS TO DO - 

• Assist the child to explore her/his feelings, thoughts, and questions about self, others, and God.
• Witness to your own faith as your child explores her/his own faith with questions and various ideas.
• Foster a life of prayer as a way to understand the importance of prayer for the child's growing sense of self and connectedness to others.
• Use family outings as a time to wonder how God is active in your lives as well as in the world around you.
  

MIDDLE SCHOOL

Growing skills in abstract reasoning, moral and religious reflections and social competencies make this an exciting as well as a challenging time.  Youth are questioning others as they are challenged internally to clarify their own self-image, values and faith.

They move from wanting direct answers about faith to exploring and discussing religious issues.  While they are attached to peer groups regarding social behavior and fads, issues of values, faith and lifelong goals are still the domain of parents and other mentor figures.

THINGS TO DO - 

• Encourage youth to use service projects and leadership roles as a means to explore their expanding cognitive, social, and spiritual horizons.
• Take time for conversations that vary from offering concrete answers to more reflective discussions.
• Be open to their increased sensitivity to the inconsistencies in the adult world and let it foster open dialogue for the faith journey of both youth and adults.
  

HIGH SCHOOL / YOUNG ADULTS

These are years when youth give serious attention to issues affecting their future; job, friendships, dating, marriage, and family life, as well as political and ecological concerns. Awareness of their new physical, mental, and relational powers lead to an experimentation and idealism that is fraught with spiritual and moral significance.

Choices are made and attitudes are formed that are constantly challenged and reviewed both internally and externally.  Church as a social institution may diminish in importance, but religious issues remain important to their developing identity and future relationship.

Idealism is still present as people enter their twenties and have a greater commitment to determine their own future and establish their own patterns and home life.  A different relationship with parents and other family members develops. New cognitive, moral, and social challenges lead them to reevaluate basic meanings and religious convictions that were largely assumed in earlier years.

THINGS TO DO - 

• Stay connect to their friends, know them by name, and include them in your prayers and concerns.
• Include ethical, political, and environmental topics in your intergenerational conversations and wonder together how God's love and presence shapes those concerns.
• Recall, maintain, and create family and seasonal rituals and worship that keep meaning and celebration alive in your relationships.
  

FAMILY / INTERGENERATIONAL

We live in a very age-segregated society.  A meaningful and satisfying life that promotes pro-social values and faith nurture in oneself and others requires healthy intergenerational relationships. Research tells us that seniors have greater faith maturity than those who are younger. That is a gift they can share with all the younger generations.  Intergenerational experiences and relationships provide valuable means to pass on faith and values.

THINGS TO DO - 

• Experiment with conversations and activities that bring multiple generations together.
• Listen to the personal stories told by other generations and tell personal stories to other generations.
• Question organizations and activities that routinely separate the generations.
• Create, repeat, and cherish the family rituals and traditions that bring the generations together.
  

PARENTING

Parenting is an exciting, humbling and spiritual experience.  It requires a lifetime of sensitivity to a variety of human needs.

Frequent topics of parental interest include developmental concerns; healthy relationships; discipline; faith, values, and character formations; human sexuality; and developing assets and reducing at-risk behaviors in children and youth.

THINGS TO DO - 

• Remember, you are the face, the hands, and the voice of Jesus to your child.
• You are the most formative faith role model in your child's life.  What you DO is even more powerful than what you say.
• Pray with your child and for your child.
• Cherish yourself.  Remember that you, too, are a child of God.
• All parents make mistakes.  Ask for and accept forgiveness.
• All parents need help and support for this most challenging of all jobs.  Build a network of support.  Seek professional help if you need it.
  

SPIRITUALITY

Faith formation is about how we are connected to the created order, what we think, how we act, what we feel, and the kinds of relationships that give us meaning and self-understanding.   Time for study, for reflection, for reevaluation, and for caring connections to others are all part of the abundant life that is ours in Jesus Christ.

Spiritual issues are never solved, resolved, or completed in this life.  Each new stage, each new experience, and each change in one's life circumstances opens new opportunities that can lead us to a renewed relationship with God, others, and creation.

THINGS TO DO - 

• Wonder and journal how God is shaping your life and your future in grace each day.
• Practice ways to speak the name of God and the divine history as part of your life story.
• Give thanks to God in the midst of a life that knows both sorrows and joys.
  

LOSS & GRIEF

Life is an experience of loss.  Not only do we experience a deep sense of loss through death, but many other forms of separation affect our maturation and ability to respond to others in healthy and helpful ways.

In addition to death, other important losses include simply growing older and entering a new stage in life, people moving away, illness or injury, divorce, career change, and unrealized hope or expectation, birth, marriage, and many other events that change one's current situation.

Identifying the large variety of ways we experience loss can help us cope more effectively with the pains of daily life and move into the future with confidence and compassion.

THINGS TO DO - 

• List the ways you experience a sense of loss in your life.
• Share your losses with God in prayer and with supportive friends and family through personal sharing.
• When enough healing has occurred, use your own losses as a means to care for others who have experienced similar grief.