select another column Transforming Congregations Through Faith Formation and Asset Building Positive Parenting Positive Parenting: In Remembrance of Me Positive Parenting: Emotional Wellness Positive Parenting: Everything Was Pretend Except Her Heart Positive Parenting: Family Hospitality is like Grace Positive Parenting: How’s The Family’s Laugh-Life? Positive Parenting: Sabbath Moments Positive Parenting: The Gift of A FaithChest Positive Parenting: They Gave the FaithChest Positive Parenting: Understand and Live in Grace

POSITIVE PARENTING
By Dr. Dick Hardel
Metro Lutheran
Michael Sherer, Editor

Family Hospitality is like Grace

My wife, Carolyn, and I just pulled into the driveway of our daughter’s house in Florida. We stepped out of our rental car and walked toward the front door. As we walked toward the door, little heads appeared from behind the curtains keeping the bright Florida sun from entering the house through the windows. I could hear my two-year-old grandson, Ryan, say, “Grandpa! Grandpa here!” We weren’t even to the front door and we were so welcomed. “Gramma Carolyn, Gramma Carolyn!” shouted our three-and-one-half-year-old granddaughter Nikol.

Since we live in Minneapolis and our daughter’s family is in central Florida, we do not have the opportunity to be with our grandchildren often. We wondered how well we would fit into the daily family life. Would the grandchildren welcome us into their lives or would they view us as strangers and be reluctant to have us come close to them? How does a family live in closely? These are powerful fears of those who live at a distance from friends and family?

Our fears were greeted with shouts of joy from our grandchildren and in our hearts we had no more fear. When the front door opened both Carolyn and I stooped down and a grandchild leaped into each of our arms. “Grandpa! Grandpa!” Ryan joyfully shouted as he hugged me and held me tightly. Carolyn hardly had a chance to respond to Nikol’s hug as she was led by the hand of Niki to a place where the two of them could play. “Grandpa come play with us,” said Niki. Ryan realized that he needed to welcome his Gramma so he climbed down from my arms and ran into the arms of his Gramma. Our hearts were filled with joy because knew we were welcome.

But this wonderful welcome was given to us each morning we came to the house during the time we stayed. In fact it happened any time of the day or night that they were awake and we came to the house. Even in the messiness of family life the hospitality was expressed. The brother and sister fought over possession of toys, books, food, space, and even who sat next to whom. Often they did not pay attention to the warnings of their wise grandparents. “Be careful standing on that box, I don’t want you to fall.” “ I get concerned when you run, because you might fall and hurt your head.” “No, we don’t play with that!” (As much as I understand I messages I often send loving you messages). “We don’t hit. Go to your room for timeout!” Niki ran to her room, crying all the way, and closed the door. I had to carry Ryan to his room. “No! No! No!” he shouted in this moment of anger. The messiness of family life brings back the fears on will we be at a distance from our grandchildren. Our grandparent hearts began to ache from fear.

But when they awoke from their timeout and nap, we were greeted again with “Grandpa!” “Gramma Carolyn!”

In the messiness of family life the children trip, stumble, fall, and get bumps, bruises, and abrasions. They become upset with grandparents who do not approve of certain behavior. They object to words of guidance and suggestions of behavioral change. They resist going to their rooms for timeouts.

But every morning we were welcomed, “Grandpa!” “Gramma Carolyn!” It is the joyful surprise of God’s grace. Children know how to live it. They express it so well because they know the gift of time in the relationship of love is so important. I think it is a way God speaks to us about what really matters in life. “Grandpa!” It is how St Paul welcomes readers to a relationship with God, “Grace to you and peace from God our Father and our Lord Jesus Christ!” It is always grace that removes fear despite our bumps, bruises, abrasions, selfishness, and stubbornness—sin. We are loved! “Grandpa!”

FAMILY ACTIVITIES

1. As a family plan a surprise party for a friend of the family. Plan ways each
   member of the family can make the friend know that they are welcome and
   loved.
2. Read some of the greetings in some of the Epistles in the New Testament:
   Romans 1:7; 1 Corinthians 1:3; 2 Corinthians 1:2; Galatians 1:3; Ephesians 1:2;
   Philippians 1:2; Colossians 1:2; etc. Discuss what greetings each of you use to
   make people feel welcome.
3. Draw pictures of what grace looks like to you. Share the pictures.
4. Talk about how timeout and time in are like Law and Gospel.