select another column Transforming Congregations Through Faith Formation and Asset Building Positive Parenting Positive Parenting: In Remembrance of Me Positive Parenting: Emotional Wellness Positive Parenting: Everything Was Pretend Except Her Heart Positive Parenting: Family Hospitality is like Grace Positive Parenting: How’s The Family’s Laugh-Life? Positive Parenting: Sabbath Moments Positive Parenting: The Gift of A FaithChest Positive Parenting: They Gave the FaithChest Positive Parenting: Understand and Live in Grace

POSITIVE PARENTING
By Dr. Dick Hardel
Metro Lutheran
Michael Sherer, Editor

In Remembrance of Me

It was one of those urgent time moments that brought the morning to me much more quickly than I had expected. Urgent time screams, “Hurry up! You’re late! You have to get to the office!” As I was rushing to get dressed, I grabbed for a black belt from my closet and suddenly urgent time was changed to an essential time of remembering. At the end of the black belt that I had grabbed, was a large, nickel-plated, western buckle. It was like a western belt buckle that one might receive from winning an event at the rodeo.

This buckle brought wonderful ministry memories. A cowboy roping a calf was etched into the nickel-plate. But more importantly, inscribed in the inside of the buckle were these words, Redeemer, Clearfield S.D. Essential time for remembering slowed me down to re-prioritize my morning. It truly was a time of re-membering, of re-connecting to people and events that have helped shape our family.

My first call to the ministry was to a three-point parish in west river South Dakota. One of those congregations I served was Redeemer, located in the very, very small town of Clearfield. All the members of this congregation were ranchers. We had 47 communicant members and averaged over 50 people in worship each Sunday. Oh, these were wonderful people of God who understood their mission to help a rookie pastor learn more about ministry beyond the seminary. These people not only helped me learn as a pastor, but help me understand that family is more than just blood relationships. These people supported my wife, Carolyn, and me as husband and wife, and, when our two children were born, they volunteered to coach us in our parenting. Redeemer was our new family name. The family was made up of Hardels, Ahlers, Williams, Duffeys, Harkins, and others. We were at home with one another.

I remember working calves with the families in the spring. I rode horses, separated calves, roped calves, threw the calves, branded, and vaccinated the calves. My body ached not only from the hard work, but also from being kicked several times by the calves. It was part of the messiness of a family event. Working calves was a way of family life that needed both men and women and all the generations. The evening meal was much like another National Day of Thanksgiving. It was a family faith festival filled with devotions, great food, singing together, and listening to the stories of the elders and the children.

Oh, we were loved by this extended family called Redeemer. When we left Clearfield, we never left the Redeemer family. The people gave each one of the Hardels a nickel-plated and engraved belt buckle. As I mentioned, my belt buckle depicted a cowboy roping a calf, because I loved working calves with them. A picture of a horse was on the buckle given to my daughter for at three-years old she would sit for hours in the saddle while we worked calves. On my son’s buckle was pictured a bull, for as a one-year old he loved to touch Bunky, a pet brahma bull. Carolyn’s belt buckle depicted a rider barrel racing.

Each of us has a symbol to slow us down, re-prioritize a morning, and bring us to the essential time of remembering. In remembering we are re-membered, re-connected to our extended family even though we all live in different towns. No wonder Jesus took bread and wine and said, “Do this in remembrance of me.”

FAMILY ACTIVITIES

1. Each member of the family find a symbol or something that was given to the
   individual or entire family. Show the symbol, share the stories, and remember
   the relationships.
2. Think of a symbol or make a symbol that you will give to a person or persons
   who are part of your extended family. Plan how to give them the gift.
3. Share prayers together as a family that God would always change urgent time
   to essential time of remembering. Talk about the meaning of remembering
   Jesus life, death, and resurrection in the sacrament of the Lord’s Supper.
4. Discuss as a family, for what would each member of the family like to be
   remembered.
5. As a family, plan a Family Festival of Remembering. Who will you invite to join
   the celebration? How will you celebrate?