Marriage Ministry

A Wedding is for a Day, A Marriage is for a Lifetime


In too many congregations, the first time members know a couple is getting married in their church or that their pastor is presiding at a wedding is when it is listed under "This Week's Activities" or on the Church Calendar. It is common practice for a wedding to only involve the pastor, the music director, the custodian and of course the wedding coordinator. A wedding is an untapped potential for a comprehensive ministry that involves the entire congregation - a ministry of caring for couples that begins with engagement (or even earlier) and serves the couple through the wedding, the critical newlywed stage and all the milestones, joys and sorrows of a faith-filled, life together. It takes a congregation to support a couple and their life-long relationship in Christ where the offering of grace and forgiveness are daily practices. A congregation's comprehensive approach to marriage which includes intentional marriage preparation, mentoring, celebration of milestones, enrichment courses, working with step families, reconciliation and restoring of relationships can literally change the life of a couple, their family and the life of a community.


A Wedding is an Opportunity for:
	• Establishing a church-home partnership and offering support for lifelong, faith-filled relationships • Congregational celebration of a milestone • Engaging veteran married couples as mentors • Utilizing the gifts of many people in the congregation in on-going, intentional Couple Care, beginning before the engagement through all the stages of a couple's life together • Community outreach

	What If A Wedding Was a Milestone Event for the Entire Congregation . .* .*
	• An invitation was issued to the couple, their friends and family to participate in worship the Sunday before the wedding. • The couple was asked to come forward for a special blessing. • The couple was given the gift of a Bible from their mentors, a veteran couple married 40 or 50 years who have highlighted their favorite text. • The couple received a faith chest, handmade by woodworkers in the congregation. And in it is a quilt or afghan made ”especially for you” by the quilters and sewers. • This couple is invited back again and again and again through all the stages of their life together, for Naming, Equipping, Blessing, and Gifting. Just Imagine . . .


Couple Care: 4-Keys for Healthier Hearts!
	The Youth & Family Institute staff believe that the 4-Keys can be applied to all things, including a couple's conversations with one another. It will take some time for your congregation to develop a comprehensive ministry with couples, but you can begin now, in your own personal relationships, using the 4-Keys for greater care for one another. • Who – Engaged couples, newlyweds, veteran couples, families • When – At least once a week, daily is even better • Where – A place or time when there are few or no distractions • How – Comfortable and facing one another Remember your favorite beverage, and of course a FaithTalk Coaster! Caring Conversation Use the following areas to check in with one another followed by the conversation starters found in one of TYFI resources listed below. • Appreciations and blessings for one another – Share these first. Be specific. • Irritations or “bugs.” Use “I” language, not blaming language. Practice forgiveness. • Worries & Willies - Things or issues I am concerned or nervous about. • Information – I have some. I need some. Get out the calendar and plan ahead. Calendaring brings sense and order to life and allows the relationship to have priority. TYFI RESOURCES Faith Talk Cards Love Never Ends, TalkPoints for Marriage Enrichment The Greatest Love, TalkPoints for Engaged Couples Prayer & Devotion Include a time for reading the Bible and prayers. If this does not come naturally, use one of TYFI resources to assist you. • At meal time, bedtime, anytime prayers ground a couple in spiritual intimacy. • Hold up one another's appreciations, willies and worries in prayer. • Read the daily news, the "Good News," together and individually. TYFI RESOURCES A Prayer Book for Husbands and Wives Heart Ignite Soul Feast Couples Devotional Bible Rituals and Traditions "Always" going to a favorite park bench or the cozy corner in your house for 4-Key Couple Time makes it a ritual. Enjoying your favorite snack adds to the tradition. • These shape a couple's identity and ground them as people of faith. • Traditions reflect each one's family of origin and the new relationship. • Rituals and traditions mark the seasons, celebrations and sorrows of life in Christ. TYFI RESOURCES Faith Talk Coasters For Everything a Season Marriage Isn't Always Easy Acts of Service In a loving, faith-filled relationship, there are no chores, only acts of service. Highlight acts of service in each category this past week and discuss those you want to include in the future. • For one another • For one's neighbor • In the community • In the world • And God's creation TYFI RESOURCES Busy Family's Guide to Volunteerism Repacking Your Bags Claiming Your Place By the Fire



"A Faith Chest for Couples"
	"As we walked the carpeted entrance towards the main door of the country club, it was easy to see that our unwrapped wedding gift did not compare to those held in the arms of the other arriving guests. The contrast was even more obvious when the red tool box, with "Jen and Mark's FaithChest®" enscribed on the lid, took its place among the elegantly wrapped boxes on the gift table and drew some curious glances. But my spouse and I just smiled at one another, knowing that inside was not only a gift certificate to an ACE Hardware store but tools for a life of Active Couple Enrichment in Christ."

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